The Price of Neglecting Yourself: From Divorce to Starting Over in Dating

No one anticipates the pain of a divorce, especially when it’s due to neglecting oneself. But for many people, this is the hard reality they must face. From the pain of the divorce itself to the fear of getting back into the dating game, it can be an intimidating and overwhelming experience. In this blog post, we will explore the impact of neglecting oneself on marriage and how to overcome the fear of dating after divorce.

The warning signs that you’re neglecting yourself in a relationship

Neglecting yourself in a relationship can happen gradually over time, often without you even realizing it. It’s important to be aware of the warning signs that may indicate you’re neglecting yourself in your marriage, dating, or relationship.
One major warning sign is that you may feel unhappy, unfulfilled, or emotionally disconnected from your partner. You may also notice that you’ve stopped doing things you used to enjoy or spending time with friends and family. Physical signs can include weight gain, a lack of energy, and poor grooming habits.

If you find yourself constantly making excuses for why you can’t do the things you used to enjoy or struggling to make time for yourself, it may be a sign that you’re neglecting your own needs.

Another warning sign is that your partner may start to lose attraction towards you or become disinterested in the relationship altogether. This could eventually lead to a breakup or divorce.

It’s important to recognize these warning signs early on and take steps to prioritize your own well-being. This can include self-care practices such as exercise, healthy eating, and meditation, as well as finding hobbies or activities that bring you joy. By taking care of yourself, you can improve your own happiness and strengthen your relationship with your partner.

How neglecting yourself affects your relationship and personal well-being

When we neglect ourselves in a relationship, we put both our personal well-being and our partnership at risk. Neglect can manifest in different ways, such as letting yourself go physically, losing sight of your interests and passions, or failing to communicate effectively with your partner.

Physical neglect is often the most apparent sign of a problem. You may have stopped exercising, let your appearance go, or stopped taking care of your hygiene. While these issues may seem insignificant, they can become a significant source of tension and resentment between you and your partner.

If you have stopped prioritizing your own interests and passions, you may also feel like you have lost touch with who you are as a person. This lack of identity can impact your relationship negatively and leave you feeling unfulfilled.

Finally, neglecting your emotional and mental health can have disastrous consequences. Failing to communicate openly and honestly with your partner can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and eventually a breakup or divorce. At the same time, neglecting your mental health can cause feelings of depression and anxiety, making it harder to engage with your partner in a healthy way.

It’s essential to recognize when we are neglecting ourselves and take steps to reverse the damage. By prioritizing your well-being, you’ll not only feel better personally but also strengthen your relationship with your partner. It’s never too late to start taking care of yourself and reclaiming your happiness in both dating and marriage.

My story: Losing my wife due to neglecting myself

My marriage ended in a bitter divorce due to neglecting myself. It was not easy to accept that my wife left me because I had let myself go. For a long time, I had prioritized our relationship and neglected myself in the process. I thought that putting her first was the right thing to do, but I was wrong.

I had stopped caring about my physical and mental health, and it showed. I had gained weight, stopped exercising, and neglected my appearance. As a result, I became insecure and lacked confidence. This not only affected my personal well-being but also put a strain on our relationship. My wife became less attracted to me, and we drifted apart.

At the time, I didn’t realize how much I was neglecting myself and our relationship. But now, looking back, I understand the consequences of my actions. Losing my wife was a wakeup call that made me realize how much I had lost sight of myself.

I learned the hard way that a healthy relationship requires a healthy individual. Neglecting yourself can damage your relationship and your personal well-being. So, it’s crucial to prioritize yourself, too, and not just your relationship.
In hindsight, I’m grateful for the lessons I learned from the breakup. It allowed me to rediscover myself and start taking care of myself again. I began exercising, eating well, and taking care of my appearance. I focused on my mental health by seeing a therapist, practicing mindfulness, and self-care.

Taking care of myself not only improved my personal well-being but also prepared me for dating again. It gave me confidence, improved my self-esteem, and made me more attractive to potential partners.


In conclusion, neglecting yourself in a relationship can have serious consequences. Not only does it affect your personal well-being, but it can also impact the health of your relationship. My story is just one example of how neglecting oneself can lead to a breakup or even a divorce.

But it’s never too late to turn things around. Take the time to prioritize your own needs and interests, and you may find that your relationship improves as well. And if you find yourself starting over in dating after a breakup or divorce, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help or coaching to ensure that you’re taking care of yourself and your new relationship. Remember, a healthy and fulfilling marriage or relationship starts with taking care of yourself first.