Agreements about your divorce should be made in writing and sign by both you and your soon-to-be-ex. Anything less than that means it\’s not an agreement at all — it\’s just wishful thinking on your part and an easy way out for your soon-to-be-ex who can deny any verbal agreement later on if it\’s convenient to him or her.

Any verbal agreements about your divorce are easily denied by the other party, especially if the other party doesn\’t want to keep his or her word to you.

You have two sets of rules – one for her & one for you

One partner in a marriage can end it using verbal divorce where only one of them gets divorce, while another has to pretend that everything is ok until they are formally divorce. It’s unethical and unfair to you and is almost always illegal.

The exception to that rule is if there was a domestic violence incident during which one party has obtained an order of protection against you so long as you live apart for at least 1 year.

If you want a fair settlement when you get divorce, avoid verbal agreements with your spouse about how much alimony or child support will be paid, and stick to writing things down.

Otherwise, you could have one set of rules for her and another set of rules for yourself.

Anything can happen

If you think that making an agreement about your divorce by talking to your ex and hashing out a verbal deal without anything in writing is going to hold up, think again. Anything can happen during a divorce, and your ex will do what she wants without asking anyone.

If you really want to protect yourself and ensure that you get what you\’re entitled to in terms of property division, child custody, and support (if applicable), it is critical that you write everything down – exactly as agreed upon – and sign it.

You will get hurt when you see your ex with someone new

If your ex is seeing someone new, it hurts—emotionally and physically. When you have children together, those feelings are magnified. It’s possible to get past your pain and get on with your life if you focus on being proactive instead of reactive.

You can’t force your ex to stop dating or not let their new partner spend time with your kids. However, you can take steps that promote a healthy co-parenting relationship between you and your ex.

Read more: The Untold Story of Losing Your Home or Identity To Your Divorce

Boundaries are made to be push

It doesn\’t matter how much you or your ex-spouse agreed to, if it isn\’t in writing, then it never happened. In a divorce, even with separate agreements in place, they are not binding.

If there is ever a dispute and your former spouse says that agreement never existed or that you had agreed differently, only then will those verbal agreements come back to haunt you.

Even if both parties agree upon an issue verbally then nothing can be consider legally binding.