Your Identity is linked to your hard work

Maybe it was a gift from your parents when you graduated college, maybe it is a home you designed to represent who you are. Unfortunately, when a marriage ends in divorce, assets such as homes and cars often end up as part of a settlement.

This can sometimes mean giving up your identity because these assets have been so intricately tied to who you are or how you live your life. We’re all human; we love our homes and they play an integral role in our identities.

Your new house

In a divorce settlement, you should expect to keep your house if you have a considerable equity stake in it. If one spouse puts down 50 percent of their income toward mortgage payments, for example, and another contributes significantly less or no money at all—that person would likely not get half of their ex’s house.

In other words, homeownership is almost always determined on a case-by-case basis. There are too many variables to give any kind of general answer, says Raleigh family law attorney Brad Elliott.

It can depend on how long they were married, what assets they brought into the marriage, how much they made during the marriage, etc. The only way to know for sure is to speak with an attorney about your specific situation.

Halving your savings

If you have accumulated a large amount of debt because of your divorce, selling any equity in your home or other assets is one way to make up some of that lost income.

You can also negotiate with your ex-spouse to halve any savings and investments so each party ends up with a fair share.

This may be your only option if you are forced to move from a family home in which one spouse had an ownership stake before marriage.

Losing custody of your children

When a custody battle is won or lost, there’s no turning back. There’s no telling how much your life will change when you’re suddenly without any parenting responsibilities.

Whether you don’t have kids yet and are looking forward to raising them, or you already have kids and want to do what’s best for them, consider these factors as part of your divorce settlement negotiations: What kind of parent will each spouse be?

Read more: We Use Data From Your Breakup & Divorce To Help You Move On

Seeing your ex with someone else in your old space

Whether you’re just starting to feel like your life is back on track after divorce or have been divorced for years, there’s one thing that we all tend to worry about: What if I run into my ex with someone else?

We know it could happen, and we probably even fantasize about what we would do when it does (because hello, adrenaline rush), but that doesn’t mean any amount of planning can truly prepare us for seeing our ex in your old home with a new partner.