The denial phase in the grieving process can be an uncomfortable time, and it’s important to pay attention to the signs that you may be stuck in denial. If you’re feeling detached from your emotions and unable to accept what has happened, ask yourself if any of these other signs apply to you. 10 Signs That You’re In The Denial Phase
1) You don\’t want to deal with your problem
If you try to avoid your problem, that\’s a sign of denial. If you\’ve never dealt with it and you don\’t know how to start, seek out professional help as soon as possible.
Not facing up to your problem is just another way of avoiding dealing with it altogether—and that will only make things worse in time.
2) Anything that contradicts your denial is ignored
Do friends and family say you\’ve changed since you got together with your partner? They just don\’t understand our love.
Someone tells you that your addiction is going to kill you, and it doesn\’t scare you into quitting? It\’s not that bad.
Any other warning signs are passed off as being someone else\’s problem. Whatever is happening in your life isn\’t actually happening to you.
Instead, whatever\’s happening to or around you is always someone else\’s fault.
3) The world is black and white
When you’re in denial, things are always either good or bad. They’re never anything in between.
If someone makes a mistake, it means they can’t do their job properly; if someone does something well, it means they’re extremely competent.
It also tends to lead people to think in absolute terms—always, never, every time and every place.
4) People who contradict you are wrong
One of our main goals, when we are denying an issue is to prove others wrong. So if someone confronts us with facts that contradict what we’re saying, it can be hurtful because we feel like they’re picking a fight or attacking us.
It’s often difficult for people in denial to have a calm conversation about their problem because they feel attacked and defenseless.
5) Feeling in Shock
Shock is an all-too-common reaction to a diagnosis of cancer. As you enter denial, you may feel numb and disconnected from reality, as if your world has slipped into a haze. You may have trouble sleeping and feel exhausted.
It’s important to realize that shock is a stage of healing and pass through it as quickly as possible; by doing so, you can begin to focus on the next steps like treatment options or reaching out for support from family members and friends.
6) You blame yourself for what’s going on
If your spouse is being verbally or physically abusive, you may first want to take on blame yourself for what\’s going on. This is an early phase of denial and self-blame that helps people who are abusing others to feel better about themselves. Your partner may also shift all blame for their actions onto you and accuse you of making them behave in such a way.
7) There\’s always an excuse why you can\’t fix it
I can\’t lose weight because I work long hours, don\’t have enough money, and/or eat too much fast food, I can\’t quit smoking because I don\’t want to be a quitter, and I can\’t get out of debt because my financial advisor got me into it.
There\’s always an excuse why you are in denial of what is happening around you. When things happen that are uncomfortable to face or admit – we go into a phase of denial.
8) Other people can fix your problem but you can\’t
People will say many things to try and get you out of your denial phase, from You need help to What\’s wrong with you?. Avoid these negative thoughts. Don\’t believe that it is anybody else\’s fault but yours.
Any suggestions other people give are just part of their own denial phase. They can\’t possibly understand what you are going through, so it is best to ignore them. If they suggest any kind of treatment or care for your problem, consider that they might not be well-intentioned.
9) Acknowledging the problem doesn\’t mean there\’s anything wrong with you
Accepting that you have a problem and your drinking is causing harm to you and those around you is an important first step in overcoming it. If you are facing legal troubles, damage to your health or relationships, or problems at work or school, it’s time to stop ignoring them.
Read more: Begging Phase Explained- It’s Not What You Think
At these points, even if nobody has directly accused you of drinking too much, accepting there\’s a problem doesn\’t mean there\’s anything wrong with you—it just means that it\’s time to move forward toward recovery.
10) Any advice offered by others is rejected
A person in denial doesn’t want to hear that something is wrong. If a therapist, counselor or friend tries to talk to them about it, they won’t listen. It doesn’t matter what anyone says because they are still in denial. They know that nothing is wrong and everything is normal with their current situation even though evidence proves otherwise.
