What Is The Beg/Bargain Phase?
The beg/bargain phase has been frequently misinterprete. People in a begging/bargaining relationship are not actually trying to resolve conflict.
They are looking for someone else to fix it for them and bring the resolution back into their lives.
The reality is that you can’t always control what your partner does or how they react, but you do have complete control over your reaction.
So even if your partner is begging you to stay or offering to change, unless it aligns with what you want, leave them and focus on yourself.
What Not To Do During The Begging Phase
The begging phase is when we often make our biggest mistake. We begin to bargain and compromise. We think that if we can get our husband to give in, then he will feel less guilty about having an affair.
The truth is that if your husband has cheated on you, then he probably doesn\’t care whether or not you suffer as a result of his choices and actions.
Don\’t try to manipulate him into staying with you – it never works. And more importantly, don\’t give up during the begging phase – it could be your last chance at saving your marriage!
Remember, everything is negotiable except for his decision to leave you and move on with another woman!
How Can I Help My Child During This Phase?
This is where I see parents get really frustrate. When their child begs for a toy or some food, they give in.
They figure that if it makes their child happy and doesn\’t hurt them (or anyone else), why not? There are two reasons not to do it, and both of them come down to teaching your child what healthy eating looks like.
First, by giving in and buying something unhealthy, you\’re teaching your kid that eating junk will earn him rewards (because you\’ll buy him whatever he wants).
Second, you\’re showing him that good food isn\’t valuable enough to fight for; only junk food is worth making a fuss over. This can lead to problems down the road when your kids are face with either process junk or fresh vegetables—what will they choose?
See also: Ask a Psychologist: Am I Traumatized?
How Long Does This Phase Last?
The begging phase will vary from child to child, family to family, and situation to situation. There is no way for me to tell you how long your begging phase will last because there are so many factors at play.
Your job as a parent is to be aware of what’s going on around you, and be responsive accordingly.
This means stepping in when needed, but it also means allowing children space when they need it too.
Be flexible! Learning how long begging phase lasts really depends on your child’s individual needs and desires.
The most important thing is that you are responsive in meeting your child’s needs and you have awareness of those needs.
