You’ve been dealing with your breakup for what seems like forever, but you’re still not over it. You’re still waiting to get over it before you start dating again, but if you keep waiting, you’ll prolong the process and hurt yourself in the meantime with too much unnecessary pain. Here are some reasons why you should stop waiting to get over your breakup and start dating again as soon as possible instead. Waiting To Get Over Your Breakup Will Prolong The Process or Cause More Pain.
Â
Â
Time doesn’t heal a broken heart.
Â
Most of us believe that time heals all wounds, which, on some level, is true. However, when it comes to a breakup, thinking that time will heal a broken heart is often misguided. Research suggests that as long as you’re still in pain and focusing on your lost relationship (as we tend to do), you’ll never get over it. Instead, it may be better to shift your focus and work toward finding new opportunities and interests, all while waiting for love in your life. Waiting To Get Over Your Breakup Will Prolong The Process or Cause More Pain.
Â
Â
Day to day, with no plan, will kill you.
Â
Being divorced is a long, painful process. But if you drift about aimlessly each day with no plan, you’ll only prolong your pain and make things worse. Plan out how you want to spend each week of your life. What will happen on Monday? How will you start that week? What does Thursday look like?
If you don’t have a plan for yourself every single day, it doesn’t matter what you do; you won’t get anywhere fast. You have to sit down and figure out what it is that you want from life so that when something happens, as in divorce, it doesn’t catch you by surprise. Too many other people haven’t thought about their own lives at all.
Â
Â
Time & emotions are not connected.
Â
Time will not heal a broken heart. At least, not quickly. It may take some time for your divorce to become final (assuming you’re going through a divorce). However, it’s essential to recognise that your feelings are not a direct consequence of time passing. Emotions rise and fall in response to the events unfolding in our lives. And since breakups involve a considerable amount of stress and grief, those emotions can be intense and volatile at times.
Â
Â
You need to reprogram your nervous system.
Â
Most of us are conditioned to let external events dictate our emotional state. If we don’t get what we want, we pout or sulk. If we do get what we want, then life is great for a few hours until something makes us upset. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Neuroplasticity means that your nervous system is malleable and can be rewired – not just once, but repeatedly.
You can learn how to respond differently in any given situation so that you no longer feel helplessly buffeted by your emotions. It will take time, effort, and patience, but if you follow these steps, you will ultimately achieve your goal. You need to reprogram your nervous system: Most of us are conditioned to let external events dictate our emotional state. If we don’t get what we want, we pout or sulk.
Read more: We Use Data From Your Breakup & Divorce To Help You Move On.
Â
Â
Breakup & divorce groups are literally “the blind leading the blind”
Â
Suppose you are going to post in a group, hoping that one piece of advice will help you with your entire life, financial situation, emotional state, and custody agreements, and that you won’t need to pay for lawyer fees. In that case, you are still in denial about the process. One thing I must warn you is this is a serious, serious situation, one would even say the 2nd most traumatic behind the death of a parent, so gear up, get ready, get serious because we know who will survive and who won’t.