The 6 Key Reasons Men Struggle in the First Year of Their Divorce
Money, loneliness, grief, anger, self-esteem and identity issues. If you’re finding yourself struggling with any of these six things a year after your divorce—or are worrying that you will soon—don’t worry;
there are steps you can take now to get back on track. We’ll look at each issue in turn and offer advice for coping with or working through them.
They Don\’t Know Who They Are Anymore
If you’re still struggling a year after your divorce. It may be that you don’t really know who you are anymore. It makes sense—after all, your life is completely different than it was before you divorced.
Friends can\’t relate to what\’s going on in your life anymore and family members might even think that now would be a good time to start dating again.
This can make for an especially isolating experience as you struggle to find yourself again.
They Rely on Their Ex-Wife for Their Sense of Identity
Whether we like it or not, our ex-wives play a role in how we view ourselves. Even after divorce, we tend to rely on them for our sense of identity.
We use them as a benchmark to determine if things are going well. When you start dating again after divorce, for example, she\’ll be there to tell you what works and what doesn\’t when it comes to dating women.
They Lose Their Purpose in Life When They Leave Work
A person\’s sense of purpose is often linked to their profession. In fact, according to one study, men in midlife who were disengaged from work and uninvolved in community activities reported poorer health than men who stayed busy.
If you want to be healthy physically and mentally after your divorce, it’s important to establish meaningful goals. Purposeful goals give us direction.
They help us make healthier decisions. And they allow us to create a more fulfilling life.
They Have No One to Vent To or Talk To Anymore
As time passes after your divorce, you’ll begin to notice that you are feeling progressively worse.
Eventually, it will dawn on you: You don’t have anyone to vent to or talk to anymore. For most couples, part of what helped them deal with their marriage falling apart was having each other to rely on for support and comfort when things got tough.
Now that your spouse is gone, all of those comforting resources are gone too.
See also: How to Boost Your Productivity with Binary Beats
They Become Overwhelmed with Sadness and Emotions
When you divorce, it’s natural to feel sad and overwhelmed. In fact, new research suggests that for women who don’t find support from others during and after their divorce, post-divorce sadness may last years longer than anticipated.
Try getting outside of yourself by reaching out to family members or friends on a weekly basis. Remember that time heals all wounds – with time, those emotions will pass more quickly than you might expect.
Everyone Tells Them How Great Things Will Be (but they don\’t believe it)
When you get divorced, well-meaning friends and family start to congratulate you on your newfound freedom. They tell you that it’s going to be easier from now on: no one will nag you about your dirty laundry piling up, or argue with you over who has control of the remote.
And they’re right! You can do whatever you want whenever you want…for exactly two weeks before reality starts setting in.
