Money Matters: Balancing a Relationship and $20k Child Support Payment

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Navigating a relationship while managing a $20,000 child support payment can be a difficult balancing act. Whether you are newly dating or in a long-term partnership, money matters are often a sensitive subject. It can be hard to know when and how to discuss child support payments with a partner, especially when it is such a large amount. In this blog post, we will explore how to maintain a healthy relationship while managing a hefty child support payment.

The current state of child support in America

Child support is a common factor in many types of relationships, including marriages, dating, breakups, and divorces. The amount of child support varies depending on the state and individual circumstances. However, according to recent data, the average annual child support payment is $5,760.

In some cases, child support payments can be much higher. As a single unit, child support can be as much as $20,000 a year. This large amount can be a significant financial burden for the paying parent, especially if they are also trying to support themselves and possibly a new partner.

Paying a substantial amount of child support can also cause tension in relationships, particularly if the other partner does not understand or agree with the amount being paid. This can be further complicated if the paying parent is not actively involved in their children’s lives, as the receiving parent may feel like they are carrying the majority of the responsibility.
Despite the potential difficulties, child support is essential in ensuring that children receive the financial support they need to grow and thrive. However, it is important to approach child support with a balanced mindset and a clear understanding of how it will impact both the paying and receiving parents.

How to budget when you have a large child support payment

Having a large child support payment can be a challenge for any parent, especially if they are going through a breakup, divorce, or trying to balance their current marriage or relationship. However, with some careful budgeting, it is possible to make ends meet.

First and foremost, it is important to understand the amount of money that is being received and what it is expected to cover. Make a list of all the expenses that come with raising a child, including food, clothing, shelter, and medical expenses. Then, prioritize these expenses according to what is essential and what is discretionary.

Next, consider any additional sources of income that can be utilized. If possible, consider taking on extra work or freelance jobs to supplement the child support payment. Alternatively, look into government assistance programs that may be available.

Another way to budget effectively is to track all expenses, both large and small. This can be done by keeping receipts, using budgeting software, or creating a spreadsheet. By understanding exactly where money is going, it can be easier to make cuts where necessary.

When it comes to maintaining a relationship while paying child support, communication is key. Be upfront with your partner about the situation and what it entails. Consider working together to create a budget and sticking to it as a team.
Lastly, it is important to remember that child support is meant to provide for the child, not for personal spending. Avoid using the money for non-child-related expenses and instead, put it towards necessary expenses such as food, shelter, and clothing.

Tips for maintaining a relationship while paying child support

Child support can have a significant impact on any relationship, whether it be a marriage, dating, or even a new relationship. Here are some tips to help you balance your child support payment while still maintaining a healthy relationship:

  1. Be open and honest about your child support payment from the beginning. Don’t wait until later on to reveal the amount you are paying, as this can create tension and mistrust.
  2. Communicate regularly with your partner about your finances. Make sure you are on the same page when it comes to budgeting and saving, and work together to make ends meet.
  3. Make time for each other. It’s important to prioritize your relationship, even when you have financial responsibilities to fulfill. Set aside time for date nights and quality time, even if it means cutting back on other expenses.
  4. Don’t let child support become a source of resentment or frustration. Instead, view it as a responsibility that you must fulfill for the well-being of your child.
  5. Be understanding and patient with your partner if they are also paying child support. Understand the stress and pressure they may be under, and support them in any way you can.
    Remember, paying child support does not have to lead to a breakup or divorce. With communication, understanding, and a willingness to work together, you can maintain a strong and healthy relationship despite the financial challenges.


Paying $20,000 a year in child support can be a significant financial burden. However, it is essential to prioritize your child’s needs above all else. Proper budgeting and financial planning can make all the difference in managing your payments. Additionally, navigating a relationship while dealing with child support payments can be tricky, but communication, transparency, and honesty are critical. It’s essential to remember that financial strain can lead to stress on any relationship, but with proper planning and communication, you can navigate it successfully. If you are facing any challenges in managing your child support payments or maintaining a healthy relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional coach like Coach Brad for guidance. Remember, while child support payments may be tough to manage, they are a necessary responsibility for parents. Don’t let financial strain cause a breakup or divorce; work towards building a strong and healthy marriage, dating, or relationship while fulfilling your financial obligations.