Oftentimes, I get asked a question I’m hesitant to answer, the reason being that I stand by the 12 steps I know work, which we go through in The 12 Week Program.

The question often goes very much like this…

“What can I do quickly to get my Wife back and save my marriage?

”The truth is, not a lot that I can guarantee will give you the results you desire.

The facts and statistics remain the same after working with hundreds of Men from all around the world. It takes time and a specific PROVEN process.

BUT, yes, big but…

If I were to dial in on five things you can do reasonably quickly to at least dramatically increase your chances (if not guarantee) of getting your wife back and saving your family, then I’d tell you the following things.

Before I reveal them, though, there’s something I want to make very clear.

Right now, if you’re a man reading this, there’s every chance you’re facing a divorce:

Some of the Men I speak to feel as if their whole world has fallen apart

They’ve lost their homes.

They’ve been separate from their family.

They feel like they’ve lost their sense of who they are

They feel as though they’ve lost their purpose.

They’ve been financially cripple.

Some even question the point of going into life!

If you’re struggling right now, I want to let you know that this is not a permanent situation.

It’s okay to be hurt, and it’s OK to cry; in fact, it’s important to feel these emotions.

If you’re feeling desperate and alone, click the contact me link here for support

So, back to the five things you can do now to increase your chances of saving your marriage

1 – Less Talk – More Action:

When those words first leave your partner’s mouth, it’s a hard, bitter pill to swallow. Disbelief, hurt, fear, anger, sadness, and many other emotions can hit you at once, making it a tough time.

It’s hard to keep our feelings and emotions under control, but that’s precisely what we must do.

For sure, cry, scream, shout, but do that away from your partner because it’s just not something they’ll be able to reciprocate properly or at all.

You may feel a deep yearning to communicate your feelings to your partner, but this is the time for less communication; you and your ex-partner need time alone, even though everything inside is telling you otherwise.

It’s always important to allow your emotions to run through you, feel them, acknowledge them and deal with them with self-love.

Action:

Self-love, self-care, and creating new positive habits are a critical part of showing yourself that you’re essential. Whether you’re able to save your marriage or not, you matter.

It’s a part of healing, and it’s a part of building back your strength and becoming the man that your Wife once felt she’d never leave.

First and foremost, do the action part for yourself.

Find a new hobby, eat healthily, get regular massages, join a gym, and make some new friends. Start building your life as if you still have one, whatever happens.

Your wife will notice this, and it will ignite the flame of curiosity as to how you’re doing so well and why you’re coping so much better than she thought.

2 Listening:

Whether we like to admit it or not, towards the start of the breakup, we may have been closed off and not taken our partner’s threats of divorce seriously.

We may not have listened to the subtle hints or requests for change within us and brushed them off.

Now it’s time to recall what she was saying, analyse and discard what wasn’t true in your mission for new self-respect. However, you must take on board what you know to be true about yourself, even if it hurts to admit it when looking in the mirror.

The art of listening is about being open even when our ego gets hurt so we can learn and evolve, stay open with your ears, mind and soul and listen to your now ex-partner, if she was right to listen and make those changes but don’t sacrifice what you genuinely believe in your heart of hearts whatever anyone says.

3 Did you hurt her?

If you hurt her, it’s time to make it very clear that you understand what you did wrong, if you did. You need to start changing the habits and actions that hurt her.

Read more: What To Do When You See Your Ex Out At A Bar.

Again, don’t say – do it.

4 – Makeover and positive change

I speak to many men, and it always fascinates me when I’ve talked to one of them who’s gained 30 lbs, stopped shaving and taking care of themselves and still wonders why she left.

As a Man, I respect myself first, and how I present myself says a lot about my personal self-esteem, self-image and self-respect.

Start getting a clean shave, get a wardrobe makeover and start taking better care of yourself. She’ll notice and when she asks “why?” you tell her, I should have listened to you and now I am (if that’s the case)

5 – Situation actualisation

There’s nothing I can’t stand more than advice that assumes we did something wrong; women act out just as much as men, sometimes more.

This step might shock my readers, but I want you to look deeply into who was wrong. If it were your ex, I encourage you to do something most people won’t tell you to do.

Get on with your life, take care of your feelings, progress in your career, eat a balanced diet, and get out there to start socialising again.

No, not dating; it’s too early for that. And if there were any way to save your marriage, dating someone else is undoubtedly not one of the pieces of the winning formula.

Dating too early can get in the way of healing.

Work on yourself and let yourself know that you’ll never be treated like that again.

Build strength and confidence, and stay on your life purpose, and if she’s sorry, make sure she’s changed and let her back in if she has when she comes running back to you.

The fact is, any one of these pointers may help, but to have a high success rate, you need to follow an in-depth, proven process, whether that be mine or someone else’s

Here’s what I’ll let you know: my 12-week program has an over 90% success rate if you follow it.

If you feel it’s something for you and you want to make a full effort to try to ensure you get your family back, then click here and learn more about The 12 Week Program