When it comes to dealing with and coping with divorce, the terms independent and codependent get thrown around an awful lot. Many people are unaware of the distinction between these two terms. They assume that since they are going through a divorce.
They are automatically becoming codependent – or vice versa. Learn more about this dynamic relationship here to gain a deeper understanding.
If you’re independent vs. co-dependent, and what that means for your divorce moving forward.
You’re Not as Independent as You Think.
Maybe you’re independent, maybe not. Perhaps someone else is depending on you, maybe not. Several factors, such as age, finances, and where your kids live, can impact what makes a person truly independent.
However, here’s one fact that can help clarify things: If divorce or breakups are in your future, now is a good time to start preparing for them emotionally (and financially).
Regardless of how hard we try to be independent and self-sufficient at all times. There will be times when we lean on others; our family and friends are there to support us through life’s trials and tribulations.
Stop Being Co-dependent and Get Your Life Back
It’s essential to recognise codependency as a behaviour and understand how it can negatively impact your life.
To be co-dependent means that your identity is closely connected to someone else.
Your actions are motivated by doing things for them, even if it comes at a cost to yourself. In a romantic relationship, being co-dependent will cause you to do things that don’t align with what’s right for you to please your partner.
But not only can co-dependency interfere with romantic relationships; it can also impact your friendships, professional relationships, and more.
Codependency is often thought of as something women experience more than men.
But anyone can struggle with codependency regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
Why You Should Never Date a Co-Dependent
In healthy relationships, both partners share responsibility for handling their problems.
If your partner always needs to lean on you, that’s a big red flag. It means they lack sufficient confidence in themselves or their ability to cope with life’s challenges.
It can also mean they aren’t treating you well, and it probably won’t be long before they start making excuses for why other people treat them poorly, too! Be careful of codependents:
If your new partner is overly dependent on your love and support, remember that there are healthier ways to feel secure and loved than relying on someone else.
Read more: What Makes Us Better Than Our Competitors.
How to Break Up Without Being Codependent
Steps to Take and Expectations to Keep in Mind When Separating from Your Partner: Being codependent in your divorce can easily ruin any chance of happiness.
Here are four steps you can take to protect yourself and make sure that when it comes time for your breakup, it’s a clean and healthy one. Learn more about Independent vs Co-dependent here!
Why Am I Acting This Way?
To understand why we’re acting like co-dependents in our divorce, it helps first to define what a co-dependent is. This person has an unhealthy obsession with another person or situation.
He (or she) is typically a rescuer who does whatever it takes to help keep things normal.
So, if you’re too afraid to make plans without your ex around and always put his needs before your own, even if those needs conflict with something meaningful, there’s a good chance that you are codependent.
We need to be clear here: If your partner can’t commit, it\’s not because of any psychological flaw but simply because he hasn’t found someone worth committing himself to yet.