The Pain of a Breakup: Why it Hurts So Much

Breakups and divorces are never easy. Whether it’s the end of a relationship or the dissolution of a marriage, parting ways with someone you once shared a deep connection with can be one of the most painful experiences in life. The emotional pain of a breakup can be hard to endure and often feels like it will never end. In this blog post, we will explore why breakups hurt so much and how to cope with the pain.

A break up disrupts your routine

When you are in a relationship, marriage, or even casually dating someone, there is usually a sense of normalcy and routine that comes with it. You get used to doing things together and being part of each other’s daily lives. When a breakup occurs, it shakes up your entire world and leaves you feeling completely disoriented. All of the plans, hopes, and dreams that you had for the relationship can suddenly feel gone. Even the simplest tasks become harder because your relationship is no longer there to rely on. Whether it’s sorting through bills or making dinner, it can be difficult to do these things without someone by your side. The same goes for more significant moments like anniversaries, holidays, or even just weekend activities. Suddenly, the person who was once such an important part of your life is gone and this can make adjusting to a new routine hard. Divorce can make this even worse as legal proceedings can also throw off your normal schedule. No matter the situation, when a breakup happens it disrupts your everyday routine and requires you to create a new one.

It’s the end of a shared dream

Breaking up means the end of a dream that you had together. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a marriage, or even just dating, when the relationship ends, it can feel like the end of a dream. You may have thought that this person was “the one” and that you would spend the rest of your life together. Or you may have imagined a future where you could travel the world together, get married, have children, or any other shared dream you had. Unfortunately, when a breakup happens, those dreams end abruptly and can leave you feeling heartbroken and lost. The end of a relationship can be especially difficult if you were married, as divorce is often the only way to legally separate from one another and the dreams you shared. No matter what type of relationship you were in, the end of a dream can be devastating.

You lose your best friend

One of the most difficult parts of a breakup is losing the closeness and companionship that was shared with a significant other. Whether it’s a relationship, marriage, or even just dating, a break up is the end of that bond. Your partner was the person you talked to about your worries, laughed with over inside jokes, and confided in when no one else would listen. It can be heartbreaking to lose that connection and it can take time to learn how to move on.

Divorce can be especially hard since it not only ends the relationship, but can also mean the end of a dream of happily ever after. After the divorce is finalized, two people who were once so close are now strangers and must adjust to living separate lives. In addition to the difficulty of breaking off a relationship, there may also be legal battles involved in a divorce, adding an additional layer of difficulty.

No matter what kind of breakup you experience, it can leave you feeling lost and confused as you try to move on without your best friend. It’s important to remember that while it may be painful now, it will get easier with time and you will eventually find ways to cope with the loss.

Your self-esteem takes a hit

When you experience a breakup, it can have a major effect on your self-esteem. It’s easy to start blaming yourself for the end of the relationship or marriage, no matter who initiated the breakup. You may be left feeling like you weren’t good enough or that it’s your fault the relationship didn’t work out.

Breakups can also bring up issues that are deeply rooted in your identity. For example, if you’ve recently been through a divorce, you may start to question your value as a partner and feel like you’re not capable of creating successful relationships in the future. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or inferiority when it comes to dating or even entering into a new marriage.

No matter what the situation is, breakups are rarely easy and often result in some level of emotional distress. It’s important to take time to process your feelings and focus on rebuilding your self-esteem after a breakup. Taking care of yourself and recognizing your own worth can help you get back to feeling like yourself again.

You have to start over

When a relationship, marriage or even a casual dating experience ends, it can feel like the world has come to an end. You have to pick up the pieces and start over after a breakup, and that’s no easy task. You need to accept that the person who was once in your life is no longer there and you must move on. It’s easy to think of starting over as a negative thing, but it doesn’t have to be. Take the time to reflect on the lessons you learned in your past relationship and think about how you can use those lessons to form healthier relationships in the future. Starting over can also bring new opportunities and chances for personal growth. Embrace this chance to explore who you are and what you want out of life. Divorce can be incredibly difficult, but it can also provide you with an opportunity to learn and grow. With each new relationship comes new experiences and the chance to make positive changes in your life.


A breakup can be a devastating experience, no matter how long you have been in the relationship. You’re forced to confront the end of a shared dream and accept the reality that you are no longer a part of each other’s lives. You lose your best friend, your daily routine is disrupted, and your self-esteem takes a hit. It may seem impossible to move on, but with time, patience, and courage, you can start over and rebuild your life. If you are struggling with the pain of a breakup or questions about relationships, marriage, dating, or divorce, Coach Brad is available to provide compassionate guidance and support.